It was not New Years Eve. We just wanted a sufficiently drunkardly song.
JeffPeff and I recorded this when we finished scoring Sparks. There had been a wine bottle in the kick drum the whole several weeks, and we did track after track until we drank the whole thing. I think it was around twenty-five takes, so both our voices on each made about fifty voices.
i strung art on my walls late last night. the white is too clean and makes me clammy. rolled out of bed with the sickness slung over me; heavily. my fingers numb to the core fumbled as they tried to tie fresh laces. wore fancy colours and painted my lips red. skipped down my worn path to catch the train only to stop and smile at the sight of my warm breath. twirled the gnarls in my hair and sipped hot tea. tore down the hallway and left the scent of jasmine lingering in those cramped quarters. signed on dotted lines and bought my ticket. took a sneeze too many and left with my orders. sashayed down to catch embarcadero to enjoy the sun for just five more minutes. wrapped myself tightly in cold blankets and listened to the weeze in my breath and the chatter of my teeth. eventually dreaming the rain away. wrote too much and not enough about things that matter. or should. made promises to myself. thought of a lost friend and sent a wish his way. dancing infront of mirrors should be done everyday.
i wore a dress and twirled round and round until i was dizzy with giggles. bought coffee for the people in line behind me. skipped down Market and gave flowers to the first person i saw. tucked my boots under my dress and read a book. sipped wine with my pinky up and made up stories about the people around me only to end up giggling to myself. opened birthday presents from loved ones around the world and smiled at how lucky i am. took silly photos of myself with the self timer and saved them all. bought books and donated them. books have always been the best food. decided to stop bleaching my scar and rock the hell out of it. had a date with the city and brought my leftovers to someone down on their luck. devoured and stuffed myself silly with books from City Lights. bought myself a fortune cookie and ended up with a fortune that said ‘you are beautiful’. jumped into bed and threw the covers over me whilst i curled myself into a ball. i love.
“Gordon-Levitt and friends wrapped up the project about 10 minutes after their deadline, with hundreds of eager fans lined up outside the theater. The energy was immense, and the let’s-put-on-a-show idealism of the participants was infectious.”—USA Today reviews hitRECord.org (via jaredgeller) (via hitrecordjoe)
well my heart is in my throat. i am so absorbed in myself that i don’t always see you standing there beside me. i will always be your friend and always be there for you - even in the middle of our annual cold wars. tonight was turning out to be a night that i really needed to hear that i was loved.
i made old people smile today - and that felt good
I hugged a stranger today. Bought a coffee for another. Gave all my change to a musician on the street. Smiled wide as my breath lingered infront of me. Updated my tumblr with silly photos while daydreaming of my next trip. Painted my body and rolled around on a canvas. Wrote stories. Wrote of love. Molded clay and smeared it with paint. Let the hot water wash over me. Watched the rainbow of colour float down the drain. Layed naked under my heating blanket and thought it was the most romantic thing ever.
I am content. I have peace despite the chaos of the city. Someone bought me a coffee tonight. A stranger hugged me and said I was beautiful. I ice skated in union sq. Danced in the pouring rain with a complete stranger. Traded pashminas with a girl from France. Drank nasty beer in Mission and soaked up every glorious moment of it. Tommys Joynt has the spiciest horseradish I have ever tasted. If I could bottle up the scent of Lisa’s gallery, I would. She inspires me. Sliding down railings is always acceptable even if it is raining. Wandering the city late at night is magical. It’s like one big nitelite. Visiting by myself is better than when I’ve come here with friends. I sleep easy. My days are full. Silent movies are best enjoyed with hot tea. I feel like I should be out doing something right now than staking ground in the community room. Knowing that everything is going to be ok. Not caring about silly scars or marks. I am beautiful. I am only just beginning
“We were never lovers, and we never will be, now. I do not regret that, however. I regret the conversations we never had, the time we did not spend together. I regret that I never told him that he made me happy, when I was in his company. The world was the better for his being in it. These things alone do I now regret: things left unsaid. And he is gone, and I am old.”—The Sandman #72, part three of “The Wake”; Neil Gaiman
i almost called you just now to hear your voice and get me to sleep, but i looked in the mirror and saw the scorn in your eyes. i put the phone in the cradle then sat down and cried. so tonight i’ll sit on my roof and pray i can fly